


Come to me, for tomorrow is another day

by Donotmind_mehere



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Aziraphale Has an Anxiety Disorder (Good Omens), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley has Trauma from the Fall (Good Omens), Crowley is Bad at Feelings (Good Omens), Crowley is Patient (Good Omens), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Forbidden Love, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), M/M, Mutual Pining, No beta we fall like Crowley, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious, Oblivious Crowley (Good Omens), Soft Crowley (Good Omens), True Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:21:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24466363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Donotmind_mehere/pseuds/Donotmind_mehere
Summary: How could Aziraphale love him? By nature, they were opposites
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	1. Tomorrow

_ Come to me, with battered heart and weary eyes _

_ I'll open broken arms to you _

_ Come to me, in pieces broken _

_ I’ll love you just like new _

_ Come to me, as you are _

_ And I’ll use what shards are left me _

_ To make you whole again _

Crowley wasn’t sure what was worse. He wasn’t sure what scared him more. Wasn’t sure of anything that had just happened. It really had only been an hour since Aziraphale had given him the tartan thermos containing the Holy Water he’d asked for a century ago. Only an hour since he had practically begged the Angel to stay with him, only an hour and Crowley didn’t know what was worse. 

What was worse? Thinking for millennia thinking Aziraphale didn’t love him as he did or thinking for an hour that he did.

What was worse? What could possibly be worse than what just happened? 

The Holy Water that had been the catalyst for an argument that left them not on speaking terms for almost eighty years and now they were talking again and and….and what? And they hadn’t  _ really _ seen each other for another two decades regardless, until the Angel had appeared in his car not more than an hour ago and...and just..gave him the Holy Water and promised him dinner and a picnic and…

And what? Crowley thought. It didn’t mean anything. It didn't mean anything important. It didn't mean what he  _ wanted _ it to mean. Did it? 

Crowley’s thoughts were getting away from him. He couldn’t help but think of Eden, it had been when he’d undoubtedly fallen for the second time in his existence…

He remembers everything so clearly, as though it hadn’t been almost 6000 years. He couldn’t help but remember the look of betrayal as both Adam and Eve were told to leave. He remembers he looked away, slithered off into the bushes of the lush garden and found Aziraphale on the wall of the garden moments later. 

He remembers making an inquiry as to the whereabouts of the Angel’s sword, and remembers that the answer had sent him reeling.

“Didn’t you have a flaming sword?” He had honestly expected the Angel to pull it out of thin air and smite him then and there. That might have been easier than what had actually happened. 

Instead the Angel answered in near silence “Er…”

Crowley gave a bit of a smirk, with another angel, he’d be pushing his luck “You did. It was flaming like anything. What happened to it?” but with Aziraphale, he was on to something. 

That near silence on the Angel’s part “Er...” 

Crowley’s smile got a bit wider “ Lost it already, have you?” 

The angel said something Crowley couldn’t quite hear “ it away.” was all the demon heard for sure, but that to be a mistake.

“ You What?!” said in both shock and amusement at what he thought he heard. 

“I gave it away! “ the angel almost yelled and went on about how he’d felt bad for the humans, how Eve was “expecting” and how there was going to be vicious animals and how it was cold out there and all Crowley could think in the most sincere of thoughts was “ You truly are an Angel…” this thought grew louder as their conversation continued, a thought that flourished as the first rain had began its descent to Earth and Aziraphale lifted a wing to shield Crowley from the storm. “You truly are an Angel.” Crowley thought once more, lost in a memorizing stupor.    


And from then on that’s the only thought Crowley ever had of Aziraphale , of course he was an angel but something about him, something about his soul, something about the way Aziraphale had risked his grace for the humans and Crowley over and over again. He truly was an Angel, in body and soul. 

And millennia after millennia, century after century, decade after decade, year after year, month after month, and day after day in the simplest and grandest of ways, Aziraphale always proved his worthiness of the title, even if he wasn't aware of it. 

This should be a testament to that, for both of them. 

But in this moment right now Crowley’s thoughts lingered on the possibility that Aziraphale pitied him the same way pitied the humans those thousands of years ago. If he had conceded to give Crowley the Holy Water out of pity for his desperation. 

His mind wandered through all of the possibilities that could have influenced him to give him the thing that had nearly ended their friendship. He’d been so against it back then and now...he’d just given it to him and he also left...

Maybe this was a payment of sorts for when he’d saved the books during The Blitz. 

Maybe Aziraphale shared his concerns of Heaven and Hell finding out about their friendship...or whatever  _ this  _ was now. Then, right on cue with that line of thinking, Crowley wondered, out loud

“ Does he love me?” and bit his lip on the “me”. 

How could Aziraphale love him? By nature, they were opposites, enemies, by nature, there was no reason Aziraphale should love him. Being an Angel, Aziraphale should have discoperated him. By nature, he was a demon and Aziraphale was an Angel. 

He'd made that clear to him a little over a century ago. 

_ “But YOU are fallen.”  _

Fallen. Tears threatened to leak from his eyes at that word.

“Fallen” because he asked too many questions?“Fallen” because he asked the wrong questions? “Fallen” because Lucifer offered to answer them without scrutiny? “Fallen” because he just couldn't pull himself away from the answers that were satisfying answers that felt right, even if they came from the wrong people? “Fallen” was that only thing that stood between him and Aziraphale ? 

Crowley stared at the roof of the Bentley and inhaled deeply and for the first time in so long now he tried to speak to God. 

His voice started in barely louder than a whisper 

“Why have I fallen? Can one un-fall? What stands between myself and salvation? Are you listening? Is this my punishment? I had thought Hell was too easy, I thought for so long now that You had taken pity on us and made the punishment mild and of course I was wrong, because here I am! Here I am! My heart breaking millennia after millennia, day after day. FALLEN! Is that what i am! Unforgivable!” and with that last blasphemy, his voice roared like thunder. 

The tears flowed freely now, Crowley removed his sunglasses and wiped the treacherous fluid from his eyes. He knew he’d get no answer, he never did. Why had he expected this time to be any different? Why had he expected Her to answer?  _ God moves in mysterious ways “and speaks to none of us.” Crowley said out loud again.  _ He knew he’d never get an answer from Her and for the first time since he’d fallen, he didn’t care. 

Crowley bit back the sob in his throat and spoke to the empty air once more but looked to where Aziraphale had sat not more than an hour ago “You don’t have to love me, but I want you to know that I love you. I want you to know that you make every day on earth beautiful, even if you're not with me. You make the stars shine and water sparkle in my eyes. I want you to know I’d do everything and anything for you. You don’t have to love me Aziraphale , I wouldn’t want you to love me if it didn't make you happy, the way you make me happy. I love you and if friendship is all you want then we can do that.” 

Crowley caressed the thermos one last time and shifted the Bentley into gear.

He pulled up to his Mayfair flat and carefully transported the Holy Water to a safe he had installed just for it.

And for the first night in centuries Crowley didn’t sleep. 

As the sun peeked over the horizon, Crowley’s mind had settled. He said one final time “You don’t have to love me and if friendship is all you want, then it is enough for me.” 

And today was another day. 


	2. Sadness fills me, like water in a cup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Crowley...” Aziraphale cried aloud, like a prayer to God to forgive him for his mistake.  
> Like a prayer to God to watch over his friend tonight, tomorrow, and forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Mention of Suicide (it is that line pulled from the show so nothing actually happens! Just the mention) also a bit of anxiety as i relate a lot to Aziraphale and he's super easy for me to write!

_ It’s with trepidation I relinquish my heart  _

_ My proclivity for you will be my undoing  _

_ So bask in the glow of this moment with me _

_ And let us truly, never be free  _

Aziraphale is pacing back and forth, up and down the book shop. 

What was I thinking? 

What was I thinking?

What was I thinking? 

What was I thinking? 

WHAT. WAS. I. THINKING?! 

Is all the only thought rapidly pacing itself through Aziraphale’s head. The only thought he could think of at this moment. 

What was I thinking? 

I’d given him holy water. 

I’d left him alone with said holy water. 

I’d given him holy water. 

I blessed it myself and I gave holy water to a demon. 

It could destroy him. Not just his body but his entire being and I just GAVE it to him?!

If he spills even a drop on himself….no no no no no. He’s going to be okay. 

He’s going to be okay. 

He’s going to be okay. 

He  _ has _ to be okay. 

What was I thinking? 

“Crowley...” Aziraphale cried aloud, like a prayer to God to forgive him for his mistake. 

Like a prayer to God to watch over his friend tonight, tomorrow, and forever.

He almost wondered if God could hear him, praying for the safety of a demon...

Aziraphale was half tempted to miracle the thermos back to him, pull it from Crowley’s hands and be done with his fear and deal with the consequences of his betrayal tomorrow.

He was more than half tempted if he was being honest, he  _ was _ going to bring it back to him, when an awful set of memories seeped to the surface of his mind.

_ Slowly at first. _

Aziraphale remembered it like it was yesterday, he remembers the first real argument they’d had. 

He remembers everything and as he closes his eyes the scene plays before him.

They’re in St. James’ park and Crowley hands him a piece of paper, as he does so he prattles on about ducks and ears but Aziraphale is too focused on the paper in his hands. It takes him a moment to look at it because he’s afraid of what it might say.

He opens the folded scrap as a flurry of emotions run through him in a near instant. But all those emotions no matter what they were are covered in a blanket of fear so thick that it rises to the surface in a surprisingly calm manner.

_ Then the painful memories flooded in, at full force.  _

“Out of the question!” he wants to cry but he doesn't, maybe things would have been different if he had.

“Why not?” Crowley asks pointedly. 

_ “Why not? Why not? Because if I gave you this and you died, I’d NEVER be able to live with myself, because if I gave you this and you got hurt, I'd never forgive myself, because if I gave you this and Heaven or Hell found out there is a chance I could never see you again! Because I love you, you idiot! Because I love you and you love me just as well! Because I'm NOT supposed to love you and I do anyway!”  _

“It would destroy you! “ he said instead as tears threaten the corner of his eyes “ I'm not bringing you a suicide pill, Crowley!” 

“That’s not what i want it for. Just….Insurance…” He says lamely, unconvincingly. 

“I’m not an idiot crowley!” Aziraphale yells for real this time as all his anger and worry and fear bubbles over and he denies Crowley the love he deserves “Do you know what trouble I’d get into if  _ they _ knew I'd been  _ fraternizing?  _ It's completely out of the question!”

He remembers this moment specifically because everything they both said after words is such a haze in his mind. 

He knows what the words were, sure, but the way they came out of his mouth, the words themselves and the hurt in Crowley's voice that was so palpable, Aziraphale sword he could have seen it, it all seemed surreal in his mind. 

It had happened so suddenly and out of his control that when he’d gone back to his bookshop, he was almost certain he’d imagined the entire encounter. 

He wished he had because come dawn the next day, Aziraphale had to concede that yes, they had gotten into that nasty argument and yes he had said all those awful things and no there was no taking it back. 

Over the next few decades Aziraphale had made many plans at apologizing but well, he didn't have the courage to face Crowley, not after everything he’d said. And so he decided that if a life without Crowley was his punishment for the way he’d treated him, then it was a punishment he deserved, that was until The Blitz.

That night, Aziraphale had wanted to confess every ounce of his love and beg for forgiveness but instead he just thanked Crowley for saving his books, remaining quiet the rest the way back to the shop and through the next couple decades he resigned himself to the content silence that permeated their relationship, the ache of longing remaining burrowed, deep in his chest, heart and soul, even though he was relieved to find that Crowley still wanted him in his life, he found it difficult to play a more active role in their relationship, he felt like he didn’t deserve Crowley’s kindness, let alone his forgiveness.

It remained this way, until a few months ago when Aziraphale heard whispers from some of the...shadier residents of Soho, they spoke in quiet tones sometimes in his shop when they thought he wasn’t listening and sometimes Aziraphale would hear them when he was out and around, eating crapes at a lovely cafe just in the passing walk it took him to get to and from his destination of choice.

“It’ll be at a church.”

“I’m not sure what he wants to steal from there but I heard he’s paying well, if you can get past his odd interview.” 

“Yes, the strange one who always wears the glasses.”

“He’s got to be mad, what could someone possibly want from a church?” 

It was at this that Aziraphale’s whole mindset changed. Crowley had never stopped trying to get the Holy Water and he wasn’t going to. 

  
  


Aziraphale bit his lip and what he did next. 

Lord, what was I thinking? 

From what Aziraphale had gathered, Crowley was planning a “caper” of sorts, none of the humans he had tried to employ knew exactly what he wanted from a church, the only things they knew for sure were three things 

One: Crowley always held his meet at a club not too far from Aziraphale’s bookshop.

Two: Crowley was willing to pay them handsomely. 

Three: The church, he wanted to obtain the Holy Water from had been built over the one destroyed in the Blitz (none of the humans knew the significance of this church in particular) 

What was I thinking? 

Aziraphale thought again, shaking his head as the memory of what he did next slapped him in the face. 

No more than twenty four hours ago Aziraphale miracled a Tartan Thermos in front of him, he stared at for a moment before collecting himself and headed to the church Crowley was going to “rob”. 

When he arrived he placed his hands into the bénitier and began to pray, it was a human prayer but all the same he was blessed the water in the name God herself, he then began to prayed for Crowley the first time that day and with every fiber of his being, hope She was listening. 

By the end of it, he was crying so much and shaking so hard, that he almost dropped the thermos multiple times before leaving the church. 

He brought the water to Crowley that night. 

They spoke, more than they had in the last couple decades, that night.

By the end of it Aziraphale wanted Crowley to know that he did not want this to be the last time he saw him 

_ “Perhaps a picnic...dine at the Ritz.”  _

He didn’t want him to hurt himself with his  _ gift. _

_ “Don’t go unscrewing the cap.”  _

And that he loved him but that their love may not ever get to live in the light of day, that they had to be careful.

_ “You go too fast for me Crowley.”  _

Aziraphale regretted every moment that had led up to this, he wanted to go to Crowley now, like he had in 1941.

He wanted to go to him and say,

“I love you and I know you love me and I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done to push you away, there is no excuse or reason I could give would ever be good enough. Because you deserve someone who is willing to risk everything for you, not me, and I’m so sorry.” 

Instead Aziraphale’s worried pacing ceases and he lay on the couch in his back room and slept for the first time in almost 6000 years, it was as if an act from God that Aziraphale’s worries were soothed for a night.

And when the sun peaked on the horizon that morning, it was another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brain decided to actually function! There are a couple important notes i wanted to put here, one being that if you're interested in my work THANK YOU SOO SOO MUCH! and two if you haven't noticed, my writing can be a bit choppy and I have been chewing on the idea of a beta, so please contact me in you're interested! Thank you so much once again for reading i hope you have a good night!! :3  
> https://no-name-user-name.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Hope ya'll enjoyed, i have major commitment issues when it comes to writing fics, so i make no promises about writing an Aziraphale POV. If you got any ideas though, feel free to ping me on Tumblr! :D  
> https://no-name-user-name.tumblr.com/


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